from the wonderfully creative folks at The Art of Manliness…
Posts Tagged With: Parenting
The Importance of Roughhousing
Stand Firm (3/27)
An E-zine for the Pursuit of Godly Manhood
Volume 1, Issue 3
1.) 16 Phrases Your Children Need to Hear by Ryan Sanders at National Fatherhood Initiative
2.) The Battle for Men’s Souls - online video Bible study by Pat Morley at Man in the Mirror
3.) Two Tips for Conducting Ministry in Your Workplace by Taylor Barkley at the Institute for Faith, Work & Economics
4.) Personal Responsibility 201 by Brett and Kate McKay at The Art of Manliness – Click here for Personal Responsibility 101
5.) Men: Date Your Wives by Eric Geiger at New Man Magazine
6.) Building Sons Into Men by Kevin East at Crosswalk.com
7.) What the Heck is a Mantle? by Kenny Luck at Every Man Ministries
Five Ways to Be A Horrible Dad
The good folks at the National Fatherhood Initiative have put together this diagnostic to help you access how you’re doing in the fatherhood department. Don’t think of it as a tool to beat yourself up with… as much as a servant to encourage you to move in positive directions as a dad.
Enjoy,
Dale
Let’s face it; connecting with your child is difficult. It’s much easier to be a horrible dad. NFI is here to help you be the best at being horrible. Here are five tried and true ways to be a horrible father to your children.
1) The Horrible Dad ALWAYS Works Late. There are folks who say, “Meals are the perfect time to connect with family.” Well, not if your goal is to be a horrible father. Forget mealtimes and stay late at work. Typically, the horrible dad is great “yes man.” Your boss needs something? Great, you can do it—you’re a horrible dad to your children. There’s nothing of importance at home for you. Heck, spend time after work socializing with old friends and colleagues. Because what’s more important than connecting with coworkers you already see all day for five days per week?! Answer: nothing. Nothing is more important for you, horrible dad.
Click here to read the other four ways to be a horrible dad.
My Life For Yours: The Call of Men
I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. [25] The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. [26] Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.
In our scripture Jesus is teaching his disciples that he is going to die, but that he must if they would live. A kernel of wheat must die if it would produce many seeds.
Why hasn’t reformation and revival broken out across the church at Southside…or any other church around us lately? There are perhaps many reasons, but could one reason be that we are holding on too preciously and tightly to our own lives – unwilling to die – so that we might reproduce many seeds through our deaths? Do we love our lives too much in this world, so much so, that we are actually losing our lives?
My life for yours. Genuine, substitutionary, and sacrificial living. Following and serving our King wherever he may lead…to whatever end. This brings honor from the Father. This glorifies the Father.
My life for yours. Training and nurturing our children in the Lord – when we rise, when we go to bed, as we live throughout the day, when it’s convenient, when it’s inconvenient – making sure that our children are not merely “taught at” but saturated in the things of God each day, all day – because they are eternal beings and heirs of the King. “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”
Are we leaving a godly legacy to and for our children and our children’s children for a thousand generations? Are we dying so they can live – really live? Can we think outside our individual lives to see how our own deaths will extend the Kingdom of God by producing many seeds? Will we believe the promises of God that he has made regarding faithful, covenantal parenting? My life for yours and for a thousand generations after you. Talk about a payoff!
But this is hard. That’s why it’s called death. Death to self. It is intentional, committed, disciplined. It’s every day, all day. It’s the discipling of our children because it is our joy, blessing, and responsibility before God to do so. Our lives for theirs. The Kingdom of God grows in such ways. Darkness is engulfed by light through such ways. Reformation and revival are ushered in through such faith and obedience. God promises blessings to such as these.
We must die. We must do with less stuff if it means more time with our families. We must wrestle with our children at the end of the day…even when we are tired. We must discipline our children, even when we would rather not. We must cast a God-glorifying vision before our children (and reiterate it every day) of who they could be for Jesus. We have to read great stories to our children (even when we’d rather doze off) so that their imaginations can ignite as they put themselves in the places of the characters in the stories. We have to read to them about the heroes of the faith who have gone before us, so that they might see how others have given themselves for Christ and his Kingdom. We absolutely must teach our children who our God is – his person, plan, power, purpose and so on. We must drive home again and again what the gospel is and is not (after all, we’re not trying to merely make better citizens or “behaviorally correct” robots). We must teach them grace and show them grace. They must learn what it means to know, love, and follow Christ. They have to understand that our faith is a total world and life view that addresses every sphere of life.
We are called to create Christian cultures in our homes though the power of God’s Word and Spirit, that those cultures might spill out into every other sphere of life. This is first and foremost our (the parents’) responsibility, not others…not even the church. Our lives for theirs. We must die so they can live.
Can we let go? Of our wants, things, desires, passions – our very lives? We must if we would find real life – abundant life – eternal life. Life in service to the King is not our own…it’s better. Only in dying are we raised. Only in dying are more seeds produced, and therefore, more fruit. Our lives for theirs.
From our commitment and hard daily labor now, what might God do in response? Might he use one of our children, (or one of our children’s children), to bring many to Christ, to redeem the culture, to usher in reformation and revival in the church, to extend the Kingdom of God as never before? We have every reason to believe he will! But we must die. We must fall to the ground and die. We must hate our lives in this world. We must give our lives for our children’s lives, and for their children after them, that God might be pleased and choose to honor us by blessing those for whom we gave our lives.
My life for yours. Our lives for theirs. This is biblical faith.
Grace and Truth,
Dale
Prayer-Helps for Men
Below is an email I sent out earlier this year to the men in our church’s men’s discipleship ministry (which also has a good number of men who attend other churches). If you’re not a part of our fellowship, then kindly disregard the reference to what we were studying at the time. But please, by all means, make full use of the prayer and prayer helps that are offered. May God use them to be a blessing in your life. (And, of course, if you live in the Jacksonville area, you are more than welcome to come and join us.) Blessings, Dale
Good Morning Brothers,
I hope and pray that you all have a wonderful Lord’s Day today. Thank the Lord for the rain.
This week we will study Lesson 12, “Reality Bites Again,” which focuses on Moses being falsely accused – not only by other leaders, but also by his own family. Such is the possible domain of every leader. How would you handle that sort of situation? Would you rush to defend yourself? Get revenge? Run away? We’ll talk about how Moses responded and hopefully gain some biblical clarity with how we should handle such a situation.
I thought I would share a prayer for your family and then some Scripture prayers for you to offer on behalf of your family members.
Prayer for Family
O God our Father, as we begin this day, bestow upon our household that grace which shall keep us in the fellowship of the Christian way, and grant unto each one of us that guidance and control which shall maintain our hearts in peace with one another and with thee. Help and prosper us in the doing of our various duties; and defend us from inward evil and from outward harm so that when the day is ended it may leave us not in sorrow, strife, or shame, but in true unity and thankful rest; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (from the 1965 edition of the Methodist Book of Worship)
The following Scripture prayers come from Rev. Keven Meador’s website. They have been a real blessing to me.
Prayer for Yourself
Father, I pray that you would create a clean heart in me. O God, renew a right spirit within me. Change me and mold me into the man that you want me to be. (Psalm 51:10)
Prayers for Your Wife (if you’re not married, you can pray this right now for your future wife)
I pray that __________ will gain a firm understanding of her secure position in Jesus Christ. Grant her the assurance of salvation. I pray that she would know that she has believed in Christ and received his salvation (1 John 5:13)
Father, I plead that you will enable me to love __________ unconditionally. Help me show this love to her in all circumstances of our lives together (Romans 5:5).
Father, grant me the wisdom to help __________ deal with her fears. Deliver me from adding to those fears. Grant me a special sensitivity to those fears and how to help her deal with them (Proverbs 2:6)
Prayers for Your Children (if you don’t have any children, you can pray for those children you know, mentor, etc.)
Ask God to convict your child of his or her sin. Plead with God to show your child that he or she is a sinner in need of God’s grace and the love of Christ (Jeremiah 17:9; Romans 3:10-18, 23).
Father, I plead that __________ will love you with all his//her heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37).
Heavenly Father, you are the perfect Parent. You are gracious, loving, wise, and fair. You are good and right in all your dealings with your children. I plead in the name of Jesus that you will enable me to raise __________. I ask that you will give me the strength and the wisdom to mold and develop __________’s life. I cannot do this without your power or your help. I look to you and trust that you will enable me to do this for your glory and for __________’s good. (Galatians 3:26; Ephesians 1:5).
Praying for Your Pastor
Father, I ask you make __________ a man after your own heart who will do all your will (Acts 13:22; 1 Samuel 16:7).
Father, cause __________ to love the Word of God with all his heart and enable him to memorize and meditate on it all day (Psalm 119:97).
Father, I plead that __________’s ministry would be fruitful and would glorify you (John 15:16; Colossians 1:28).
Prayers for those in need of Physical Healing
Father, you created __________. You formed him/her. You knit his/her inward parts in the womb. You alone know how to make what is right in __________’s body. You alone know how to heal __________. As his/her Creator, I pray that you would grant healing to __________. Let your power envelop him/her and bring the healing that is needed (Genesis 1:26; Psalm 139).
Have a blessed day today brothers.
In Christ,
Dale
Raising Children to be Entrepreneurs
This is a really inspiring presentation by Cameron Herold on raising children to become entrepreneurs. That is, he encourages parents to shepherd their children (at least the ones who show certain aptitudes and attitudes) to not just want to become doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc., but, instead, seek to pour into them an entrepreneurial spirit. He offers some good reasons on why he believes this is a good idea and some helpful suggestions for how to put his ideas into action. I think much of what he has to say is right on target. A great deal of what he has to say is in line with trying to cultivate children who will excercise their gifts and personal quirks for Christ and his Kingdom (though this is not a Christian presentation). This is also not a homeschool presentation, however, I see the homeschool setting as the ideal environment to put Herold’s ideas into action.
This really is a great video and is truly worth watching for the 22 minutes that it lasts.
Enjoy,
Dale
Thanks to the good folks at Freedom Personal Development blog for finding this video presentation and sharing it with the rest of us. Thanks also to TED for producing these great videos for the rest of us. They really are ideas worth spreading.
Pass It On To Our Children
by Dale Tedder
In you our fathers put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them. They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed. …Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about the Lord. They will proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn – for he has done it. (Psalm 22:4-5, 30-31)
It has been said that the problem with living is that it’s so daily. The same could be said of parenting. Whether it’s getting your children to eat their vegetables, clean up their rooms, do their schoolwork, or have good manners, parenting is daily. Consistency and intentionality are absolutely required. And in no area of parenting is this truer than in passing on our faith – our beliefs, worldview, values, character, conduct, etc., to our children.
What we’re talking about here is spiritual reproduction.
The primary truism about spiritual reproduction is this: We can’t reproduce what we’re not ourselves. Cats aren’t going to reproduce dogs, no matter what. We reproduce what we are. Therefore, it’s absolutely imperative that moms and dads are daily, consistently, intentionally, and faithfully practicing the faith they profess…the faith they are seeking to instill in the hearts, minds, and souls of their children.
In a real sense, this is more than mere example. Faith really needs to be in the “DNA” of the parents. Having said that, our example is vital because children will copy what is being modeled for them at home. It wasn’t dumb luck that my kids all turned out to be Georgia Bulldog fans.
But passing on our faith requires more than example. We are called to actively lead them, instruct them, tell them, pray with them, pray for them, admonish them, counsel them, and nurture them (love them!!!). The call to pass on our faith to our children in this manner (as well as to pray that it extends to our children’s children for a thousand generations) runs throughout Scripture. For example…
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 – Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. [5] Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. [6] These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. [7] Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. [8] Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. [9] Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Psalm 78:1-7
O my people, hear my teaching;
listen to the words of my mouth.
[2] I will open my mouth in parables,
I will utter hidden things, things from of old–
[3] what we have heard and known,
what our fathers have told us.
[4] We will not hide them from their children;
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord,
his power, and the wonders he has done.
[5] He decreed statutes for Jacob
and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our forefathers
to teach their children,
[6] so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.
[7] Then they would put their trust in God
and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands.Ephesians 6:4 – Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
These are just three clear examples of Scripture’s overwhelming multigenerational vision for the extension of God’s kingdom. Many more could be cited. In truth, we’re talking about more than quoting a few texts. This multigenerational vision is a key thread that runs from Genesis to Revelation.
Early in Psalm 22, the psalmist declared that those who came before his generation put their trust in the Lord and were not disappointed. Later in the same Psalm he stated that future generations would also serve the Lord because they would be told about the Lord. If you really think about it, how else will Christianity be passed on? If the love, holiness, grace, works, and words of God are going to be known two hundred years from now, then we must pass them on.
But to whom? Some Christians talk about the need to evangelize and disciple the lost but sometimes seem to forget about God’s covenant children under their own roof. If we think in terms of concentric circles, our next priority (or circle) after our own relationship with God (because, again, we can’t reproduce what we’re not ourselves) should be our own family. Our goal, of course, is that our children come to know, love and follow God and pass on that faith to their children and their children’s children for a thousand generations (Deut. 5:10, 7:9).
(By the way, it goes without saying that we are to make disciples of all nations, but this is a devotional about passing our faith on to our children.)
In a real sense, our children are not our own. They are God’s. We are stewards of God’s children. That means that we have been given the vital and joyful responsibility and blessing of raising these children to know, love and follow their heavenly Father. And while such an upbringing is so daily, we need to realize that we only get one chance. It’s my prayer that God will honor the prayers, blood, sweat, tears, effort, and love that we pour into our children (his children). To see them become the godly adults that we’ve been striving for will make it all worth it in the end.
Grace and Truth,
Dale
Our Life for Theirs: A Multi-Generational Vision
I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. [25] The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. [26] Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. (John 12:24-26)
In our scripture Jesus is teaching his disciples that he is going to die, but that he must if they would live. A kernel of wheat, he says, must die if it would produce many seeds.
Why hasn’t reformation and revival broken out across the church at Southside…or any other church around us lately? There are perhaps many reasons, but could one reason be that we are holding on too preciously and tightly to our own lives – unwilling to die – so that we might reproduce many seeds through our deaths? Do we love our lives too much in this world?
My life for yours. Genuine, substitutionary, and sacrificial living. Following and serving our King wherever he may lead…to whatever end. This brings honor from the Father. This glorifies the Father.
My life for yours. Training and nurturing our children in the Lord – when we rise, when we go to bed, as we live throughout the day, when it’s convenient, when it’s inconvenient – making sure that our children are not merely “taught at” but saturated in the things of God each day, all day – because they are eternal beings and heirs of the King. “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”
Are we leaving a godly legacy to and for our children and our children’s children for a thousand generations? Are we dying so they can live – really live? Can we think outside our individual lives to see how our own deaths will extend the Kingdom of God by producing many seeds? Will we believe the promises of God that he has made regarding faithful, covenantal parenting? My life for yours and for a thousand generations after you. Talk about a payoff!
But this is hard. That’s why it’s called death. Death to self. It is intentional, committed, disciplined. It’s every day, all day. It’s the discipling of our children because it is our joy, blessing, and responsibility before God to do so. Our lives for theirs. The Kingdom of God grows in such ways. Darkness is engulfed by light through such ways. Reformation and revival are ushered in through such faith and obedience. God promises blessings to such as these.
We must die. We must do with less stuff if it means more time with our families. We must wrestle with our children at the end of the day…even when we are tired. We must discipline our children, even when we would rather not. We must cast a God-glorifying vision before our children (and reiterate it every day) of who they could be for Jesus. We have to read great stories to our children (even when we’d rather doze off) so that their imaginations might ignite as they put themselves in the places of the characters in the stories. We have to read to them about the heroes of the faith who have gone before us, so that they might see how others have given themselves for Christ and his Kingdom. We absolutely must teach our children who our God is – his person, plan, power, purpose and so on. We must drive home again and again what the gospel is and is not (after all, we’re not trying to merely make better citizens or “behaviorally correct” robots). We must teach them grace and show them grace. They must learn what it means to know, love, and follow Christ. They have to understand that our faith is a total world and life view that addresses every sphere of life.
We are called to create Christian cultures in our homes through the power of God’s Word and Spirit, that those cultures might spill out into every other sphere of life. This is first and foremost our (the parents) responsibility, not others…not even the church. Our lives for theirs. We must die so they can live.
Can we let go? Of our wants, things, desires, passions – our very lives? We must if we would find real life – abundant life – eternal life. Life in service to the King is not our own…it’s better. Only in dying are we raised. Only in dying are more seeds produced, and therefore, more fruit. Our lives for theirs.
From our commitment and hard daily labor now, what might God graciously do in response? Might he use one of our children, (or one of our children’s children), to bring many to Christ, to redeem the culture, to usher in reformation and revival in the church, to extend the Kingdom of God as never before? We have every reason to believe he will! But we must die. We must fall to the ground and die. We must hate our lives in this world. We must give our lives for our children’s lives, and for their children after them, that God might be pleased and choose to honor us by blessing those for whom we gave our lives.
My life for yours. Our lives for theirs. This is biblical faith.
Grace and Truth,
Dale




